Category: Columns

John’s column “The Gay Moralist” appeared bi-weekly in Michigan’s Between the Lines from 2002-2007, and then weekly at 365Gay.com from 2007-2011. His columns and op-eds have also appeared in other venues, including the Independent Gay Forum, The Advocate, the Los Angeles Times, The New Republic and the New York Times. Most of these columns are archived here.

Ken Mehlman’s New Beginning?

First published at 365gay.com on August 27, 2010 In some circles, Ken Mehlman’s coming out as gay this week was about as shocking as Rosie O’Donnell’s coming out in 2002, or Ricky Martin’s coming out earlier this year. Others were quite surprised. Still others asked, “Who’s Ken Mehlman?” Answer: Ken Mehlman is, according to the… Continue reading Ken Mehlman’s New Beginning?

Taking on the New Argument Against Gay Marriage

First published at 365gay.com on August 20, 2010 Ross Douthat’s recent New York Times op-ed [http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/09/opinion/09douthat.html?_r=1&ref=rossdouthat] against marriage equality is notable for many things, not least its frank rejection of some standard bad arguments against same-sex marriage. Douthat denies that marriage “has always been defined as the union of one man and one woman” and… Continue reading Taking on the New Argument Against Gay Marriage

A Skeptic’s Faith

First published at 365gay.com on August 13, 2010 “The trouble with atheism,” my friend said with a smile, “is that you don’t get any holidays.” Sometimes even tired jokes can be insightful. The friend was a Catholic priest, speaking to me (an atheist) as I spent a week with him and several dozen other priests… Continue reading A Skeptic’s Faith

What I Learned at Gay Camp

First published at Between the Lines News on August 5, 2010 “Remind me, dear,” I said to my partner Mark on the way to the airport, “what I am absolutely, positively not doing again next year?” “You are not doing Camp next year,” he dutifully replied. We had repeated this dialogue many times in the… Continue reading What I Learned at Gay Camp

Did the State Create Marriage?

First published at 365gay.com on July 16, 2010 Last week a U.S. District Court judge in Boston ruled portions of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) unconstitutional, prompting the usual cries of “judicial activism” from conservatives. Among the responses was a statement from Roman Catholic Archbishop Joseph E. Kurtz of Kentucky, chair of the U.S.… Continue reading Did the State Create Marriage?

How Lingle Was Right

First published at 365gay.com on July 9, 2010 In vetoing Hawaii’s civil unions bill, Gov. Linda Lingle noted that the bill was “essentially marriage by another name.” She has a point. Of course I don’t agree with her decision, and I don’t buy her excuse that the issue was too important to be decided by… Continue reading How Lingle Was Right

Why Weddings?

First published at 365gay.com on July 2, 2010 I’m at a wedding for a same-sex couple, in the chapel anteroom before the service, and the grooms are sweating profusely. It’s not because they’re nervous. It’s because they’re wearing black wool tuxedos, it’s a humid 90-degree day, and like most old churches, this one isn’t air-conditioned.… Continue reading Why Weddings?

Happily Ever After

First published at 365gay.com on June 25, 2010 Three years ago I wrote a column “Young Love, Older Love” about a couple I called “Bob” and “Jim.” At the time I wrote [http://www.indegayforum.org/news/show/31405.html]: “My partner Mark and I introduced ‘Bob’ and ‘Jim’ at a dinner party at our place. Bob, 31, is recently out of… Continue reading Happily Ever After

Crush

First published at 365gay.com on June 18, 2010 “I think I’m in love,” my friend announces. “You knew him for five minutes,” I retort. We’re both exaggerating. My friend—let’s call him Bob—met a guy while traveling, and they hit it off. Literally they spent hours together, though much of that was in, um, “non-verbal” communication.… Continue reading Crush