First published at on June 18, 2010 “I think I’m in love,” my friend announces. “You knew him for five minutes,” I retort. We’re both exaggerating. My friend—let’s call him Bob—met a guy while traveling, and they hit it off. Literally they spent hours together, though much of that was in, um, “non-verbal” communication.… Continue reading Crush

No Asians?

First published at on January 22, 2010 Not long ago a friend approached me for relationship advice. He’s a white guy who was contemplating dating a black guy, and, as he put it, “I thought you could give me some insight since you’re in an interracial relationship.” His query took me by surprise. To… Continue reading No Asians?

Fighting Gay Dehumanization

First published at on January 8, 2010 The column that follows is about anal sex. Some friends have urged me against writing it, not because readers find frank discussions of anal sex “icky,” but because the offending comments’ source—Peter LaBarbera—is unworthy of serious attention. In one sense these friends are quite right. But for… Continue reading Fighting Gay Dehumanization

A Story of Comfort and Joy

First published at on December 18, 2009 Allow me to share a favorite holiday story. It was late-November 1989, a year after I first came out. I had been dating a guy named Michael for over a month, which made him (in my mind, at least) my first “real” boyfriend. I was twenty and… Continue reading A Story of Comfort and Joy

Robert George’s Reality

First published at on August 7, 2009 Robert George’s recent piece in the Wall Street Journal, “Gay Marriage, Democracy, and the Courts,” [] contains both sense and nonsense—but more of the latter. George, a Princeton professor of jurisprudence and founder of the American Principles Project, is a preeminent conservative scholar. In the op-ed, he… Continue reading Robert George’s Reality

Sex and Distortion

First published at on March 13, 2009 Sometimes we gay writers do such a good job cutting down one another that we scarcely need our enemies. Consider a recent column [] in Bay Windows, a New England GLBT newspaper, where Jeff Epperly identifies me as a “gay conservative” who’s a “a bit touched in… Continue reading Sex and Distortion

Strange Bedfellows

First published at Between The Lines News on March 12, 2009 Recently I wrote about a proposed compromise by David Blankenhorn, who opposes gay marriage, and Jonathan Rauch, who supports it. On the Blankenhorn/Rauch proposal, the federal government would recognize individual states’ same-sex marriages or civil unions (under the name “civil unions”) and grant them… Continue reading Strange Bedfellows