First published at 365gay.com on January 22, 2010 Not long ago a friend approached me for relationship advice. He’s a white guy who was contemplating dating a black guy, and, as he put it, “I thought you could give me some insight since you’re in an interracial relationship.” His query took me by surprise. To […]
First published at 365gay.com on January 18, 2010 The Gay Moralist is a philosophy professor by day, and today’s column is a logic lesson. Consider the following two exchanges: Jack: I can’t support gay marriage because it violates my religion. Jill: Some people’s religions teach that interracial marriage is wrong. Jack: So, you’re saying that
Don’t Let the Perverted Analogy Trip Up the Gay Debate Read More »
First published at 365gay.com on December 18, 2009 Allow me to share a favorite holiday story. It was late-November 1989, a year after I first came out. I had been dating a guy named Michael for over a month, which made him (in my mind, at least) my first “real” boyfriend. I was twenty and
A Story of Comfort and Joy Read More »
First published at 365gay.com on November 19, 2010 This column will be my last for a while. I’m taking a break—maybe for a month, maybe longer—to recharge my batteries and focus on some other projects. So I wanted to take an opportunity to say “thank you” to my regular readers and to let you know
Taking a Break Until Next Year Read More »
First published at 365gay.com on November 13, 2009 It’s November, which means bookstores have next year’s calendars on display. When I was a teenager, this annual occurrence unnerved me. The “male interest” calendars”—think “Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Model of the Month”—held no appeal for me. Instead, I would nervously reach for a Chippendales calendar, hiding it
On Not Being Like Other Boys Read More »
First published at 365gay.com on October 2, 2009 Chad and I met on my first visit to Detroit, back in the spring of 1998. “Damn, he’s good-looking,” I thought to myself–a familiar reaction for those who met Chad. He was thin then–he didn’t become a gym bunny until a few years later–but it was his
A Personal Tragedy Read More »
First published at 365gay.com on September 25, 2009 One of the best bits of advice I ever received while coming out was from a nun. That’s right—a Catholic nun. Not even a lesbian nun, as far as I can gather. Sr. Julie was one of my theology professors in college, and she was one of
First published at Between the Lines News on September 3, 2009 “You don’t just want us to tolerate what you gay people do,” my skeptical questioner announced, “you want us to think that it’s RIGHT.” Whenever I hear this point–and it’s pretty often–I always think to myself, “Duh.” Of course I want that. Why would
Other People’s Judgments Read More »
First published at 365gay.com on August 21, 2009 A friend writes, “I’m coordinating a safe-space training at [an urban public university]. One participant stated that she felt she was a strong ally, but her religious beliefs dictate that homosexuality is a sin. What should I do? Can I deny her a safe-space sticker, or ask
‘Safe’ Doesn’t Mean ‘Shut Up’ Read More »
First published at Between the Lines News on July 16, 2009 Recently I’ve been reflecting on mentoring, and the various ways we introduce newcomers to aspects of gay life—the good, the bad, and the ugly—in an effort to help them navigate their own path. This brought to mind two stories, both involving gay bars. The